Ash: Hey, Cam. How are you doing today?
Cam:
Good, considering. Sorry. Don't mean to sound pathetic. Just been
through a lot lately with…well, with everything that has happened.
Ash:
You have been through a lot lately, and you had a difficult
childhood. How do you think it impacted you to become so well
educated and so honest and respectful as you got older?
Cam:
Wow. Not many people have called me respectful.
I need a second to absorb that one! My childhood was hell. I don't
want to go into all the details, but let's just say foster care was a big
step up for me. Kristeene Bennett and the Walsh Foundation taught
me not to use my past as an excuse and taught me everything I
know about taking advantage of every opportunity. My education,
painting - everything that is worth anything in my life, I owe to that
woman. A lot of people do.
Ash:
What is the first thing you notice about a woman?
Cam:
I should say the eyes, right? That's the PC answer. It's true, I DO
notice the eyes because growing up like I did, you learn to read
people in an instant. And the eyes are the fastest way to scope a
person. But the "player" answer? I'm an ass man!
Ash:
What was it like when you first saw Kerris? What was
going thru your mind?
Cam:
She's gorgeous, of course. Any guy would notice that first, but
there was something about her I just resonated with right away. She
and I have very similar pasts, and as beautiful, as sweet as she was,
she didn't let people in. I got that. I'm pretty guarded myself. She
wouldn't even go out with me for months, and we were just friends.
Guess that made me feel like the king of the world when she finally
did say yes. I thought I was really lucky she didn't listen to
everybody telling her what a player I was. I mean, I was a player,
but that was before I met Kerris.
Ash:
Can you tell us a little about your friendship with Walsh when
you were younger before Kerris came along?
Cam: T
hat son of a...sorry. Walsh and I aren't exactly on the best terms
right now. Probably won't be again. I didn't have many people in
my life I could trust. Pretty much, just Walsh and his family. I told
Walsh things about my childhood that I...that I never thought I
would share with anyone. We've been like brothers since I was
twelve years old. I never thought he would...never suspected he
was as low and conniving as he is. I don't care how many orphans
he rescues or all the good he does all over the world, someone who
goes for his best friend's girl is not a good guy. I wouldn't trust him
as far as I could throw him now. That's all you need to know about
what is left of my friendship with that dude.
Ash:
Some haven't read your story yet, and may not know what I'm
talking about when I ask you this next question, so I'll be
careful with how I word it. We all understand how upset you
were when you saw for yourself that there really was something
between Kerris and Walsh, but some of us had a hard time with
your reaction later that night. You remember what i'm talking
about? Do you have anything to say about that?
Cam:
You would ask that question. It's hard for me to address something
so sensitive and private. Something that's supposed to be between
just me and Kerris, but I'll try. I don't know that it'll make people
understand or like me any more, but at least I'll get to give my side
of the story. I'll start by saying I know it was a douche move. When
I saw...what I saw...trying to stay spoiler-free for folks...something
kind of snapped inside me. Kerris and I promised that we would be
each other's only, and she couldn't have chosen a better way to
betray me. I guess in a way I needed to remind myself and to
remind her that she was my wife. On some level I knew she
wouldn't refuse me because of how bad she felt about what I saw.
Was that right? In hindsight, no, and I still see how that may have
caused more damage in our relationship. In the moment, it felt like
the only way I could re-establish myself as her husband. Sex
is...complicated for me. I won't use the abuse I experienced as an
excuse. It's not. I'm still figuring out how it has affected me. I kind
of thought, in some ways, it hadn't affected me, but maybe it did.
It's still something I don't feel comfortable talking about, so don't
bother asking me to elaborate. Let's just say If I had to do it over, I
would handle things differently. But as I've learned with so many
other mistakes I've made, you don't get do overs. You only get do
betters, and that's what I'm trying to do, starting with the family I
want more than anything.
Ash: Can you tell me a little bit of where your state of mind is
at today? Like how are you doing with your marriage and
everything that has happened?
Cam:
We're moving forward. We've all lost a lot over the last year. I wish
I was the kind of guy who could let bygones be bygones, but I'm
not. I feel sick every time I'm in the same room with Walsh, and
I'm not sure how we can get past that. Kerris and I...we're trying.
Maybe I had it right when I was a kid. Maybe you can't trust
people. Maybe everyone's out to hurt you. Maybe you shouldn’t let
people in if this is what happens. What's the point?
Ash:
Can you tell me where you think you will be in 5 years?
Cam:
In five years, I hope to be on my third or fourth art exhibit. Paris, New York. I want my art in museums all over the world, but I also want it on bridges and the sides of buildings where anybody can see it and be inspired by it. The streets have always been my Louvre. The one thing I want even more than my art? A family. Kerris and me, we're on the same page about that. We want to put all the shit...can I say shit here? Sorry! Can you bleep that, or whatever? We want to put all the stuff from the last few months behind us and focus on making the kind of family we never had ourselves. We both grew up in hell. My kids won't have that. If that's the only thing I have to show for myself in five years, I'd be okay with that
