Another Day Another Loss!

I seriously have had one hell of a year this year. 

Just 8 months after losing my Gramps I have lost yet another family member. My cousin Richard passed away Saturday. He was more than my cousin he was my brother. You know how close a bound can be between cousins its an infinite love like no other. 
It means more to me since I am an only child! 
He really was my brother!!

We were only separated by 2 months and 2 days apart in age ,and when we were younger we were partners in crime along with our other cousin Roxy. Us three were trouble makers when we were together. We seriously made some memories for the books. 
some maybe  we should just keep between each other.HAHA

Most of my teenage memories are mostly with these two nuts. 
Like the one time we were driving in the car and he decided to open up the door and ghost ride while I was driving!!! 
EEEE He was a dork I swear!! Or when I used to make him play barbies with me instead of hot wheels. We were so lose we even had the chicken pox together! 

As we got older and grew up we each sorta went our separate ways. I became a mom and married the love of my life. 
Roxy has been going to school and has meet a great guy as well. Rich well he sorta veered off and took a much different road, but no matter what I considered him my brother. 

When I recived the phone call from my mom that he had passed I cried like seriously balled my eyes out. It HURT like hell. I still feel as if it is just a dream! He was so young and hadn't even really lived a life! He did do some things he was proud of and I am sure he loved people like no other so I am sure he is smiling down looking at us. It is going to take me a little while to actually feel that he is gone and won't call me saying "Hey lil cousin"  or "Whats up lil Ash" He could seriously make me smile every time he called me or I would see him. 

What hurts me the most is that last time I talked to him was a few months ago and I yelled at him and was a total bitch. I was sick of what he was doing to himself that I didn't want to even have anything to do with him. I am going to regret that for the rest of my life! I hope he knew that I loved him and he was my brother. I don't know what I am going to do now that he is gone and I can't just pick up the phone and tell him I am sorry and I Love him. i just hope when we meet again he will welcome me with open arms! 

RIP Rich I love you BUBS!! 

This song right here is for you!! 






THIS RIGHT HERE IS MY COUSINS SONG ALWAYS HAS BEEN AND WILL BE!!